


Honeypot

by mirror_cannibal



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: (literally like barely even mentioned), (the plot doesn't really matter tho), (this is just an excuse to write a shizaya date-rape fic), (yes that's definitely a thing), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Aphrodisiacs, Blow Jobs, But he's in middle school, Choking, Crying, Drug-Induced Sex, Fear, Grinding, Hand Jobs, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Izaya's a detective lol, M/M, Minor Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya, Multiple Orgasms, Nipple Play, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Painful Pleasure, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Hatred, So's Shizuo, Underage Sex, nvm I actually am continuing it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-19 15:28:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8214209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirror_cannibal/pseuds/mirror_cannibal
Summary: Izaya is working for an underground detective agency, and his newest mission is to seduce one Heiwajima Shizuo in order to get access to certain files in his and his father's apartment. Unfortunately, Shizuo has other plans for the overly-confident flea who approached him out of nowhere.Basically an excuse to write a date-rape fic between Shizuo and Izaya, with some angst and rape-aftermath at the end. I'm not sorry.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Honey Trap](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4115370) by [Emma (KarasunoShugoshin)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KarasunoShugoshin/pseuds/Emma). 



> In which Shizuo really is the monster that Izaya's always called him out to be

Orihara Izaya was in a dangerous line of work—especially for a middle schooler. He’d known the dangers, welcomed them even, in the beginning. When he’d first been hired for the underground detective agency in an attempt to make connections, he thought it’d all be excitement and action. Of course, it was, but there were other parts to the job as well.

He glanced up from his coffee cup, sliding his gaze across the café until it rested on a familiar figure in the opposite corner, sipping slowly on his coffee, hard brown gaze fixed on his phone. Izaya recognized the face under the mop of blond hair immediately—he’d studied it thoroughly beforehand, of course. Along with everything else about the guy. Why wouldn’t he? His mission was to seduce the monster, after all.

Taking a breath, Izaya drained his coffee cup and pushed himself back from the table. Making his way across the café with a confident step, he planted himself before the blond—who was the same age as Izaya—who slowly glanced up from his phone screen with an annoyed expression. 

“What do you want?” he said immediately, the irked tones in his voice causing the words to grate out harshly. Izaya set a smile on his face to cover up his unease at the unwelcoming reaction—even though it was expected, with the information he’d been given on the guy’s attitude.

“Hi,” Izaya grinned, making his voice light and friendly. “I was just sitting over there, and I couldn’t help seeing how lonely you looked over here.” The man didn’t answer, and Izaya was already pulling a chair from the table even as he asked, “Mind if I sit down?”

The man frowned, obviously displeased, but Izaya offered his hand anyway as he sat down, his smile unwavering. “I’m Orihara Izaya. Nice to meet you!”

Hesitantly, the man reached across the table and grasped Izaya’s hand in his own strong grip. “Heiwajima Shizuo,” he answered, the distrust carved into every syllable that fell from his lips.

Izaya let out a little laugh. “What a name! I think I’m going to call you Shizu-chan!” At the blond’s immediate glower and the faint warning rumble in the back of his throat, Izaya quickly backtracked. “Shizuo, then. Shizuo is fine. And you can call me Izaya.”

Shizuo eyed him suspiciously. “Why are you talking to me again?”

Another laugh. _Who would’ve thought laughing was this tiring?_ “I just told you! Were you even listening, Shizu-ch—uh, Shizuo? I thought you looked lonely, so I came to keep you company!”

“I don’t need company,” the blond frowned again, lifting his coffee cup to take a sip.

Izaya ignored his comment, instead leaning over the table to breathe in the smell of Shizuo’s coffee. The blond jumped back, nearly spilling the dark brew on himself, as Izaya closed the distance between them, smirking up at the blond. “Mm, smells delicious.”

Shizuo gave him a look, lowering the cup to the table. “It’s just black coffee,” he said. “It’s literally the cheapest thing here.” The raven was about half a foot from Shizuo’s face now, and at that proximity he could see all the emotions flickering through the blond’s eyes. Confusion, suspicion, distrust, and a faint glimmer of shock all swam in their brown depths.

“Well,” Izaya grinned, “I see you’re a man who likes to save his money.”

“Sure,” Shizuo said, looking at Izaya with a new emotion in his eyes—one that the raven couldn’t decipher. “Hey…what was your name again?”

Izaya sighed dramatically. “Must I repeat _everything_ for you, Shizuo? You call me Izaya. _I-za-ya._ Got it?” 

Shizuo gave a displeased “Hm,” but didn’t complain about Izaya’s condescending tone.

“Say, Shizuo,” Izaya rested his elbows on the table, leaning his head against his hands as he continued to look into the deep brown of his eyes. “Are you busy after this?” Of course, he already knew the answer. He’d been tracking the blond’s routine for the past few months now, wanting his first honeypot mission to go exactly according to plan. 

A shrug. Izaya inwardly kicked himself. _Of course he’s not going to agree to anything that easily…ah, I fucked up. What the hell am I supposed to do now?_ “Well,” the deep voice suddenly interrupted Izaya’s thoughts, “I suppose I am.”

A flash of shock passed through Izaya, but he kept his face a mask. “Maybe,” he continued in as low and seductive a voice as he could manage, a glow of hope in his chest because _Wow, this is actually working!_ “You want to…head back to your place?”

Shizuo was silent for a few moments, and Izaya could feel his own pulse racing. “Yeah,” the blond suddenly agreed, the edges of his mouth curling up, “Yeah, sure.”

  


* * *

  


_Those files, those files…they’re supposed to be in his apartment, why can’t I find them?_ Izaya’s hands were sweating slightly, but he fought to keep his calm composure. Shizuo was the son of one of the most influential people involved in the underground, and it was Izaya’s job to get into his apartment and search for a specific document that would allow for his own employer to gain a whole lot of power. Hearing ceramic clanking from the kitchen and heavy footfalls, Izaya quickly slid the drawer shut and made his way back to the couch, where he sat as if he’d been waiting the whole time.

“Tea’s ready,” Shizuo’s half-uninterested voice said, and the guy himself appeared around the corner carrying a tray with two teacups and a steaming pot. Izaya met his eyes and smiled at him, concealing the twinge of unease he felt when he got no reaction from the blond. Shizuo set the tray on the table, sitting on the couch a few feet away from Izaya. 

“Why, thank you, Shizuo,” Izaya chuckled, watching Shizuo pour the hot liquid into the two cups. “You’re so kind to me, ne?”

Shizuo said nothing but “Here,” when he handed one of the cups to Izaya. Accepting it with a smirk and a subtle wink, Izaya blew gently on the steaming tea before raising it to his lips. _I have to find a way to increase my stay…I have to find those files. I can’t fail this mission, I’ll never hear the end of it. My reputation..._

“Mm.” Izaya swallowed the burning liquid, which had a surprisingly nice taste to it. “This is really good tea, Shizuo.”

“My friend got it for me,” Shizuo replied, smiling slightly as he watched Izaya take another sip. “I’m glad you like it.” Izaya grinned at him. _How the hell do I figure this out from here…If I can’t find the documents, I’ve already failed…But they have to be in this house somewhere. I just need more time to look. Maybe if I…? No. Nope. That’d be over the line. I am not sleeping with this monster._

“Hey, Shizuo,” the raven tipped his cup up again, sipping the delicious drink. “You live alone?” He’d just said it for means of conversation, but of course he already knew the answer. He’d done his research.

“I live with my father,” Shizuo said, “Well, technically. He only visits on the weekends.” Izaya noticed that he hadn’t drunk any of his own tea.

“What, you don’t like the tea?” Izaya asked, nodding to the still-full cup in Shizuo’s hands while gulping down the last mouthful of his own. “It really is good. Why would you pour yourself a cup if you weren’t going to drink it?”

Shizuo smiled at him. Izaya wasn’t sure why, but that smile sent a shiver up his spine. It was a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Oh,” the blond said, his voice surprised, but that cold smile still on his face. “Sorry, I spaced out for a bit.” He went to raise the cup to his lips.

_Something’s wrong._

Izaya could still taste the burning tea on his tongue, the heat prickling down his throat and burning in his stomach. Suddenly the heat in his stomach intensified and he doubled over, gasping with the pain. “Sh-Shizu—” he gasped out, breathing hard as the fiery feelings swept through his veins, making his skin hot and prickly, too confined by the heat of his clothes.

“Oh,” Shizuo said again, that cold smile growing colder as he locked eyes with Izaya. “You seemed so keen to come home with me. Were you not expecting something like this?” He raised his own full tea cup to Izaya’s lips, the steaming liquid burning the raven as he kept his mouth shut tight. “You’re too trusting for your own good,” Shizuo laughed, his thumb forcing Izaya’s jaw open as he poured the scalding tea down the smaller boy’s throat.

“Gkk! Agh!” Izaya gagged on the burning heat as it ran down his throat, leaving a trail of prickly discomfort before pooling in his stomach. Once the liquid was down, it was all he could do to catch his breath, his lungs burning almost as badly as his insides.

“Come on, _Izaya_ ,” Shizuo taunted, tossing the empty cup to the side and gripping Izaya by the back of the neck, pressing his fingers into the fair skin. “Did you not want this?” Izaya felt the fingers around his neck, pushing hard, constricting his air. He gaped his mouth open helplessly, fighting for a breath that wasn’t there, as every nerve exploded with a fiery heat when Shizuo touched it.

The fingers loosened for a moment, allowing Izaya a desperate half-gulp of air, but then they were squeezing tightly again. The blood in his veins thrummed desperately against the strength of Shizuo’s grip. Izaya could feel the liquid leaking from his eyes and mouth, the saltiness dripping down his cheek and the saliva sliding down his chin. _How the hell did it end up like this? I just came here for a few stupid documents. Am I going to die here, at the hand of this…this monster?_

Shizuo suddenly let go of Izaya’s neck altogether, and the raven doubled over as he coughed and sucked in air desperately. He glared up at the blond, his chest heaving as he panted, the fire in his veins causing his muscles to twitch at random. 

Shizuo just stared at him and laughed. _Laughed._ “I’m not going to kill you,” he chuckled, “Just what do you think was in that tea, anyway? I just wanted to see your expression when you thought your life was going to end.”

Izaya sucked in another breath, his lungs aching. “Th-then,” he tried to speak, but his tongue stuttered over every sound he made. “What was-s in th-the t-t-t—” Somehow nothing he thought in his mind was making its way into the open air. He found himself unable to control his own tongue.

Shizuo seemed to know what he was saying. “What was in the tea?” the blond echoed easily, as if showing off the fact he could speak normally. An almost scary grin cracked across his face, his brown eyes alight with some strange mixture of rage and excitement and terrifying pleasure. “Let me give you a hint, _I-za-ya_.” He hissed Izaya’s name, the half-whispered syllables inducing an inexplicable shudder through the raven’s small frame. _This kid’s insane!_ Izaya thought frantically. Then, honoring his promise to _‘give a hint,’_ Shizuo leaned forward and pressed a hand directly over Izaya’s crotch. 

Izaya didn’t think he’d ever jumped so badly in his life—his heart pounded in his chest as all his muscles jerked and spasmed in shock and his body twitched to escape the offending touch, only…only the touch didn’t feel bad. It didn’t feel bad at _all_. The burning sensation across his body fired up at the touch, and Izaya could feel his own sudden hardness straining at his pants. He found himself rolling his hips slightly as Shizuo began palming him through his pants. _Wait…did that moan come from me?_

“Uuuuhhhhhnnnnn,” Izaya’s head fell back against the couch as the unnatural noises rolled off his tongue. “Nnnnnnngggggghhhhhhhaaaaaaa…” Shizuo let out a little chuckle as the raven started to jerk his hips back and forth, trying to intensify the feeling of Shizuo’s hand on him. Izaya could feel the heat on his face, knew he was blushing humiliatingly, knew that there were still tears in his eyes and saliva still dripping down his chin. He knew that right then, he was literally _begging_ for Heiwajima Shizuo to touch him, _begging_ for more of the delectable feelings the blond was giving to him. He knew he had no control over himself anymore.

“Aw, Izaya,” Shizuo laughed, his free hand moving up under the raven’s black T-shirt, sending every muscle he touched into a spasmic dance. When his fingertips brushed against Izaya’s sensitive nipples, the smaller man felt a loud, uncontrollable moan of pleasure tear itself from his throat.

“Sh-Shizu—Shi—” Izaya panted incoherently, gasping and moaning as Shizuo pinched the pink buds, one after the other, sending brief blasts of pleasure arcing through the helpless boy’s body. Izaya had absolutely no control over his own body—his muscles twitched and jerked on their own, his hands were limp and helpless at his sides, and his voice seemed to fall from his lips without the permission of his brain. His mind itself was a muddled mess of questions and exclamations that he wanted to say out loud but couldn’t gain the control of his tongue to do so.

Shizuo took both hands off Izaya’s body, and Izaya didn’t even recognize the sudden petulant whine as his own. The blond used both hands to pull the raven’s shirt over his head, sending a gasp or moan out of Izaya’s throat every time he brushed against his skin. Izaya found his hips moving on their own, rolling upwards, his body begging for Shizuo’s touch again. _No! Stop it! What the hell am I doing! I can’t just let him do whatever he wants, this is rape!_ But no matter how hard his mind fought, he couldn’t overcome the animalistic urges of his own body. _He drugged me,_ Izaya screamed inwardly, _He drugged me and I was stupid enough to not see it._

“Loosen up, _I-za-ya_ ,” Shizuo murmured, the way he hissed Izaya’s name sending a shiver down the raven’s spine. The blond ran his hands down Izaya’s torso, sending waves of fire through the smaller man’s muscles. Izaya jerked, small moans and whines escaping him as Shizuo unclasped the raven’s belt with a single smooth motion and yanked the waistline of his pants down, exposing his achingly hard need for Shizuo’s touch.

“Sh-Shizu-o!” Izaya cried out as Shizuo trailed his finger lightly up the raven’s weeping erection, circling the tip. The simple motion turned every thought in Izaya’s head to mush, and every sound that came out of his mouth was gibberish. Shizuo paused in his motions for a moment to tug his own shirt over his head and cast it to the side.

“Louder, _Izaya_ ,” Shizuo grinned down at him, sliding his fingers through the weeping liquid that escaped Izaya’s erection and spreading the juices across the raven’s lower torso. Izaya’s back arched as Shizuo curled the fingers of his other hand around Izaya’s boner, sending the smaller man’s muscles into a spasmic dance. Every inhale was a gasp and every exhale was a moan, and Izaya couldn’t even fully comprehend what was happening to him; all he knew was that it felt incredibly good.

Suddenly Izaya felt a single digit slide into his opening. A loud groan escaped him, pleasure dripping from the unexpected noise and sending waves of alarm blaring through his shocked mind. But Izaya had no control over his own body anymore, and his spine was already arching and his hips were already moving and he was sliding himself down onto the digit, then up again, feeling the finger curl and twist inside of him. Bursts of pleasurable heat exploded inside of him as another digit slid in, the two fingers scissoring inside of him to stretch his fiery muscles.

“See, look how much you’re enjoying it,” Shizuo grinned, his smile going in and out of focus in Izaya’s overwhelmed eyes. He pushed deeper, a third finger stretching the tight muscles more and causing more shudders to run through Izaya. The raven’s back arched, his muscles tightening around the digits, his spine curling and uncurling to move himself up and down over the fingers. Moans escaped his mouth, louder with every breath. _Why am I going along with this? Why can’t I even control my own body? What has he done to me?_

Shizuo’s free hand clamped over Izaya’s painfully hard erection, suddenly rubbing quickly up and down on the heated flesh, the friction causing Izaya to cry out and clench his muscles down on the fingers. He tried to yell something out, but all his sounds came out as pleasured moans and sighs. “Sh-Shi—” he tried, but his words were quickly overtaken by his own pants. A heavy shudder passed through his entire body, his muscles clenching and unclenching, contracting over and over until he felt the splatter of his own liquid against his stomach, but the heat wasn’t gone. The heat wasn’t gone at all, his erection was still painfully erect, the sweat was still dripping down his body and the fire was still burning through his muscles.

“That’s once,” Shizuo whispered, his words just barely registering in Izaya’s foggy mind. “Let’s see how many more times you can come for me.” The blond’s fingers slid out of Izaya, an unrecognizably childish whine slipping past the raven’s defenses as Shizuo did so, letting out a little laugh. Izaya breathed in sharply at the feel of wet warmth over his sensitive nipple, glancing down to see Shizuo’s blond hair in front of him. Shizuo licked once more, dragging his tongue over Izaya’s nipple. The smaller man melted into the feeling, involuntarily leaning his head back as a low moan tore itself from his throat. Izaya began panting, his breath coming quick and leaving him light-headed, as Shizuo began to suck on the sensitive bud. The sound of a belt unbuckling and fabric sliding over skin barely registered in Izaya’s lost mind until he felt the blond’s wet erection against the inside of his thigh.

“N-nnnn—” Izaya tried to protest, but the words refused to form on his tongue. Shizuo brought up a hand to pinch his other nipple and the raven crumbled under his touch, reduced to a mumbling mess beneath the blond. Shizuo lifted his head, and Izaya inwardly cringed at the way his brown gaze hungrily took in Izaya’s heated face and sweat-coated skin, under which muscles burned and twitched at random. 

“Ready?” Shizuo asked softly, teasingly. Because he knew Izaya couldn’t think straight. Because he knew Izaya’s tongue couldn’t form the sounds he wanted. Because he knew that Izaya had no choice. _Because he’s a fucking monster!_ Izaya fumed inwardly, his thighs jerking to the sides as Shizuo lightly touched them.

Suddenly—too suddenly—Shizuo’s erection was sliding past the tight ring of muscles at Izaya’s entrance. It was sudden, and yet…Izaya’s body moved on its own again, his back arching past what he would’ve thought possible, his knees bending around Shizuo’s back to draw him closer, his fingers clawing at the fabric of the couch beneath him in any attempt to push his hips down onto Shizuo’s length. Somehow, in some way, the feeling of Shizuo’s pulsing organ inside of him made Izaya crazy, made him want more and more of it. Before he knew it, the blond was in to the hilt, and Izaya still didn’t feel full.

The raven moaned helplessly, begging for more while at the same time pleading for it to end. Sweat ran down his body, heat radiated off his skin, his muscles contracted at random as the pleasurable feelings raced through him. His ankles were locked behind Shizuo’s back, his toes constantly curling and uncurling with every slight move Shizuo made. His fingers clenched into fists then unclenched, his nails scratching at the couch then at his own skin.

Shizuo stayed in to the hilt for a while, holding Izaya’s hips still, as the raven struggled to feel more. Thoughts and feelings were racing through Izaya’s head, conflicting and confusing in his drug-numbed brain. One thought rose above the rest, forcing itself past his lips. “Move,” he gasped out, his body twitching against Shizuo’s grasp on his hips. “Move.” As if he’d been waiting for Izaya to say that, Shizuo smiled a smile that didn’t reach his eyes and slid out then back in again.

The shivers ran through Izaya’s body, growing more and more intense. His muscles contracted around Shizuo’s length, pulling him deeper every time. The friction was building, every movement sending a moan out of the smaller raven and causing his fingernails to scrape against the fabric of the couch beneath him. “Hnnn,” he groaned, biting his lip as the sound rushed through him, “Mmmm!”

Suddenly Shizuo’s hands were underneath Izaya’s bottom, causing the raven’s muscles to twitch and burn from his touch on the fiery skin. The blond lifted slightly, holding Izaya’s hips off the couch, sliding in all the way at the new angle. He brushed something inside the raven that made Izaya yelp, his voice raising to what would be an embarrassing level if he’d been in his right mind. A wave of heat swept through him, a coil of pleasure building deep inside him where Shizuo had touched. He shuddered, his cries building in volume and intensity. Shizuo’s name rose to the tip of Izaya’s tongue, and he sank his teeth into his own lip to keep the name from slipping out. 

“Hnnnnn!” Izaya groaned against his teeth, tasting metallic blood on his tongue as he bit down harder, the fire rushing through his body in waves as Shizuo hit the same spot again. Unable to hold back the second time, Izaya gasped out _“Shizuo!”_ as he climaxed once more, his entire body shaking and shuddering with the loss of control.

“Twice,” Shizuo laughed, grinding slowly against that sweet spot deep inside Izaya. “I’m sure you can do much better than that.” Izaya’s head fell back against the couch, his entire body jerking and contracting against the feelings that Shizuo’s throbbing organ was giving him. Sweat rolled down the shorter male’s body, and saliva slid down his chin. His chest heaved with every breath and the air rushed past his teeth faster and faster with every passing second.

Izaya didn’t know how much more of this he could take. The pleasure was becoming painful, the feelings racing through his body becoming terrifying. Every time a muscle jerked, every time a moan slipped out, Izaya was reminded of how little control he really had. Shizuo held all the cards, controlling every feeling that tortured the raven. Izaya panted, struggling to hold back his moans so that he could just breathe, as his lungs were beginning to ache from the lack of full breaths. His muscles were tired, so tired from the constant contractions.

“Sh-Shizuo,” Izaya forced out, feeling incredibly proud of himself as soon as he was able to finally get the sounds out amidst the pants and groans that surrounded his syllables.

“What is it, _I-za-ya?_ ” Shizuo murmured, and Izaya could feel the blond’s grip circle around to settle on his hips, fingers pressing tight against the soft skin there. Izaya couldn’t help the moan that escaped him from that simple touch.

“St-Stop,” Izaya groaned, then gasped as Shizuo slammed against his prostate. 

“Oh? You want me to stop, do you?” Shizuo grinned as he drew back and slammed back in again, feeling Izaya unravel beneath him. His next words came out low and intimidating. “Don’t tell me what to do, flea.”

Izaya’s entire body gave up at that, his mind falling apart and his muscles giving into the constant jerking motions that controlled them. “Aaaahhhhnnn,” Izaya moaned as Shizuo began pounding against his sweet spot again and again, faster and faster. “Sh-Shizu—ohh…mmmnnnnngggghhh…”

“I won’t stop.” Shizuo smiled, but it wasn’t really a smile—just a cold, unfeeling, cruel curl of his lips. “I won’t stop until you stop.” 

_What the hell does he mean by that?!?_ Izaya was feeling too overwhelmed to even think. And yet, he could almost grasp the idea that Shizuo was talking about. He understood how, with every thrust Shizuo gave, his own body responded by pushing down onto the blond. _He wants me to stop…reacting? Reciprocating? How am I supposed to stop, he drugged me!_ With another monstrous slam into Izaya’s prostate, the raven felt his body undergo the same shuddering, convulsing motions it had before as he ejaculated for a third time.

“Three times,” Shizuo echoed Izaya’s thoughts, “That’s twice now you’ve come just from me being in your ass. Do you like these feelings, Izaya? Do they feel _good?_ Do you want to feel even more?”

Izaya struggled to regain control of his lungs, sucking in a quick breath to respond. “N-No,” he whined, even though his spine was pushing his hips down onto Shizuo’s length. “Stop—stop it—no more,” he panted, a harsh stinging in his eyes reminding him what tears were.

“No more?” Shizuo repeated, that same scary grin still on his face. “No more? And yet you’re still pushing down onto my dick? How lewd, Izaya.” He gripped Izaya’s hips tightly, and Izaya felt the blond pushing in to the hilt, grinding against his prostate. The raven’s body dissolved into shudders again, his mind falling apart under the overwhelming feelings. He didn’t even register what was happening to him until Shizuo laughed and said, “Four times, Izaya. And in such a short amount of time, too. You really enjoy this, don’t you?” He pulled back, allowing Izaya a half-second to regain his breath, before thrusting back in at a normal pace.

Izaya groaned, feeling his own sticky cum on his lower stomach, glancing down to see the clear-white thick liquid sliding down his skin, pooling on the fabric of the couch beneath him. “No more,” he panted again, forcing the words out with a numb tongue. “I can’t—I can’t come anymore.”

“Oh, I’m sure that’s a lie,” Shizuo laughed, and Izaya tensed up as the blond’s tight grip moved from one of his hips to his achingly hard erection. “See? Look how hard you still are. Granted, I did give you an _incredible_ amount of aphrodisiacs, especially since you’re so small.” He let out another laugh as moan after moan spilled out of Izaya’s mouth. “Well, we’ll just have to see how long it takes to wear off, right?”

Shizuo began to move his hand up and down over Izaya’s weeping erection, leaving the smaller boy to dissolve into convulsions and moans beneath him. The feeling of Shizuo against his prostate had been one thing—but now that feeling, paired with the deliberate attention to Izaya’s hard-on was almost too much for the raven to handle. His moans built in volume, his muscles tightening around Shizuo’s length to pull him deeper with every thrust. Izaya’s eyelids slid half-shut, and everything kept going in and out of focus as his mind became completely and utterly overwhelmed with everything that was happening to him.

“Oh?” Shizuo laughed again, but the sound was fuzzy in the raven’s head. “That’s five times. Ahh, you’re still coming. Izaya, look at all this!” His voice rose in what almost sounded like excitement, and Izaya slowly focused his eyes on Shizuo’s fingers in front of his face, coated in a thick white-ish liquid. “Ah,” Shizuo suddenly moaned, his voice losing its confidence for a moment as he drew the slick finger back to grip Izaya’s waist. “I’m going to come inside of you, Izaya. Do you like that? Does the thought excite you?” Izaya couldn’t even think well enough to voice his immediate rejection.

Suddenly there was a strange sensation deep inside of him—a hot liquid pooled inside, filling him and making his stomach ache. Izaya let out a moan of discomfort, yet it held an undertone of pleasure to it. He felt the loss of Shizuo’s pulsing length inside of him, but the sperm filled him up just as well. “Ugh,” Izaya groaned, his nails scraping against the fabric of the couch beneath him as his body twitched, his member still achingly hard. “Sh-Shizuo,” he panted, finally able to catch his breath now that the blond had stopped abusing his prostate. “Are—are you…done?”

Shizuo only grinned in response, ducking his head down out of Izaya’s field of vision. Unable to gather the energy to crane his neck, the raven simply laid his head down against the couch in defeat. Suddenly his entire body tensed up at the feeling of the blond’s tongue on his length. Izaya felt a cry of intense pleasure tear past his lips, a wet warmth engulfing his tip as a rough hand began pumping the bottom of his shaft.

“Shi—Shizuo!” Izaya cried out, rolling his hips into the fantastic feeling. Despite the exhaustion weighing him down, his muscles reacted strongly to the attention Shizuo was finally giving to Izaya’s painfully hard erection. The warmth disappeared for a second, and Izaya didn’t even recognize his own half-scream of pleasure when his body shook and his ejaculation arced through the air for the fifth time.

“My, my,” Shizuo laughed, “I didn’t even think it was possible for a single person to come this much in one night. You’ve exceeded my expectations, _Orihara Izaya_.” Izaya shuddered once more, another moan grating over the back of his throat before spilling into the open air as the blond took Izaya in his mouth again.

That was the point Izaya could remember up to. That was the point where, despite the fiery feelings still racing through him, the exhaustion and overwhelming shock of everything that had happened finally caught up with him and his mind sank away. That was the point where Orihara Izaya finally lost consciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still not sorry

Izaya blinked his eyes open slowly, taking in the sight of the unfamiliar ceiling above him. He slowly came to his senses, memories from the night before racing through his head. 

_“Maybe…”_ His own voice echoed in his mind, _“You want to…head back to your place?”_

A laugh, a familiar laugh, echoed from Izaya’s recent memories. _“You seemed so keen to come home with me. Were you not expecting something like this?...You’re too trusting for your own good.”_

Now, Izaya remembered his weakness from the night before. He remembered how he’d crumbled against Shizuo’s touch, how he’d melted into the blond’s grip and how he’d given in to every feeling that the monster had given him. “That wasn’t me,” he whispered, not even realizing he’d said the words aloud until he heard them in the still air.

The breath began to race through him, aching in his lungs and causing his heart to pound almost painfully. Izaya wrapped his arms around his stomach, his arms coming into contact with sticky liquid, the terror making him nauseous. “What the hell was I thinking,” he choked out, his throat tightening as tears began to sting at his eyes. “What did he do to me?”

His whole body hurt. Pain flashed through his muscles and joints, pausing to pound dully around his hips, where he could still feel the pressure of Shizuo’s grip. Tears began to leak out of his eyes as his own voice from the night before echoed in his head. _“No more…I can’t—I can’t come anymore.”_ He reached up a hand to tug at his hair, pulling his bangs over his face as the tears flowed freely.

“Why…why would he do that to me,” he sobbed quietly, curling his hand into a fist and causing the pain to leap to his scalp. He only pulled harder, struggling to use the pain as a distraction, as if it would undo the very situation he had gotten himself into.

Izaya lay silently as the tears poured from his eyes. His fist tightened against his hair, pulling it down, and his other arm was still wrapped protectively around his stomach. _How the hell did I do this to myself? How do I get out of this? What have I done?_ Izaya’s knuckles were white from the force of his grip, his scalp screaming in pain as he yanked the black hair over his red eyes, the salty drops of liquid still silently escaping his eyes and soaking into the pillow.

Izaya clenched his teeth against the scenes flashing through his memory, yanking harder on his hair and pressing the fingers of his other hand hard into his own skin. He was struggling to breathe now, each breath cutting into his lungs like one of his own blades. He could feel his heartbeat increase, pounding through his chest, until he could feel the blood thrumming through his fingertips. His throat ached, tightened around his inhales, and his eyes stung. _This is pathetic,_ he thought to himself, _I’M pathetic._

Finally Izaya was able to draw in a full breath—he gasped it in, filling his lungs painfully. The exhale came out stuttered, his throat closing at random intervals and making it hard to breathe naturally. Izaya clenched his teeth, screwing his leaking eyes shut as he drew in another shaky breath. _What the hell am I doing…Why can’t I move…How did he make me so weak?_

The silence of the tears was ending, and the sobs began to wrack his shoulders. Izaya felt a painful sob tear itself from his throat, tightening his grip on his own hair to pull it over his face as his entire body shook with every stuttered release of breath. Izaya sucked in another breath, sliding his entire arm across his face as if it would hide the tears that already streaked his cheeks—as if it would hide his own weakness from his own eyes. He bit his lip harshly as small moans of pure agony began to escape him with every exhale.

Izaya had no idea what to do. He hated himself at that moment, hated the way he’d gotten himself into that situation, hated the way he’d broken down because of it. He held his breath for a moment, the now-soundless sobs barely shaking his shoulders as he held them down with every ounce of energy he had. At last he sucked in a full breath, then two.

“I didn’t—” Izaya whispered, “I didn’t want this.” The clarity of emotion in his own voice scared him. Izaya drew in a shuddering breath. Pulling his arm slowly across his face to reveal his eyes, Izaya stared blankly up at the ceiling. “I can’t believe I would do that,” he whispered to himself, barely able to even fathom the situation he’d gotten himself into. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d actually gone in over his head in any event. “I can’t believe I would just let him do that to me.” Izaya had always been in perfect control, even in the most surprising of circumstances.

And yet…

And yet, here he was now. Breaking down. Izaya sat up, his head spinning weirdly and a groan escaping him as the pain in his joints and muscles fired up. His hips ached like they’d never ached before, and every muscle felt like it’d been stretched to the max and snapped back into place. Pain pounded dully in his wrists, and Izaya was sure he could see the imprints of the monster’s grip on the pale skin.

Izaya’s entire body tensed up, every muscle going rigid as a new feeling made its way through him. “Ugh…” he moaned softly as he felt hot, thick liquid slide through him, spilling out onto the fabric of the couch he sat on. Sudden feelings of disgust and regret flashed in his head again, his body screaming in pain and discomfort as if in response to those feelings.

“I just…” Izaya mumbled slightly to himself, trying to wake himself up. “I just need to get home. Take a shower. Take a nap. Then it’ll all be in the past. Hell, maybe I’m taking a nap right now. Maybe this is all a dream.” He stared down at his hands, fighting the urge to throw up. His next words came out softly, barely even a whisper. “Please let it be a dream.”

Even as he thought it, he regretted it. Thinking of a better reality only hurt him more when he realized that this was his reality. This had really happened. He’d really gotten himself into that. “Get up, you idiot,” Izaya hissed fiercely at himself, surprising himself with his own ferocity. “Quit moping around and take care of yourself already. How the hell else do you think you’ll sort this out?”

With a fantastic effort, he shoved himself up off the couch on shaking limbs, his skin scrawling as more semen slid down his leg as he stood up. His aching legs could barely hold his weight, and he half-fell against the couch again. He glanced around the room, seeing his own clothes nearby, crumpled on the ground but seemingly clean.

When the clock sang a little tune, Izaya jumped a mile, his heart thudding through his chest. His gaze snapped across the room, where the clock in question pointed to the time. _10:00 in the morning??_ Izaya rubbed his eyes, ignoring the stabbing pain of a headache that shot through his forehead at the motion. _There’s no fucking way._ Suddenly he remembered that if he was in Shizuo’s house, Shizuo was probably there, too.

“But at ten in the morning?” Izaya murmured softly, before the terror could freeze his limbs, suspicious gaze darting around, neither his eyes nor his ears picking up any traces of the blond monster. _He’s probably at school already. I know his schedule…yeah, he’s at school. He wouldn’t miss it, just because of me. He’d just leave me here, to find my own way out._

Slightly comforted by the fact he was alone, Izaya considered taking a shower, even as his mind was already repelling the idea. “Not in this monster’s house,” Izaya hissed to himself, despite the uncomfortable stickiness of his skin. Recalling where Shizuo had gone the night before to make tea, Izaya made his way—slowly and shakily—to the kitchen, finding a roll of paper towels. 

“Better than nothing,” he grumbled, beginning to wipe the most of the stickiness off. Even as he touched his own skin, it crawled in discomfort, remembering the rough touches from the night before. He cleaned himself hastily, tossing the paper towels away with an impulsive sound that could almost be described as a whine. Quickly making his way back to the living room, Izaya gathered his clothes and slid them on quickly, his hands beginning to shake as his reality really started to set in.

“He raped me,” Izaya breathed disbelievingly, and somehow the words aloud sank in more than they had just in his mind. “That monster raped me.” He stared blankly at the ground for a moment, before shaking his head violently and pulling his shirt on. “It’s ok,” he whispered, tugging his jacket on over his shirt and pulling the familiar comforting fabric around his body. “It’s ok. It’s ok. It’s ok.”

He took a deep breath, feeling the air shudder through his lungs and fighting back the tears that threatened his eyes with their sting. “It’s ok,” he repeated again. _I’m not going to cry, I won’t cry, I can’t cry, not in this monster’s house, I just need to get home, I just need to get home and take a shower and everything will be fine, it’ll all be fine, it’ll be like it never even happened if I just pretend it didn’t happen, it’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok…_

_Oh, shit. The documents._ Suddenly Izaya remembered the reason that started the horrible escalation of events—the beginning of this horrible nightmare. _Fuck, if I don’t get his dad’s documents, after everything he put me through…_

Steeling himself to walk, Izaya began searching through Shizuo’s apartment. The living room was already clean—he’d checked that the night before, while Shizuo had been making the tea—so he moved to the next most obvious place. Walking on trembling legs down the hallway, he opened one door to find the bathroom, then opened the next to find a bedroom. _Aha!_

Making his way immediately to a desk in the corner, Izaya breathlessly started rifling through the drawers, coming across a beige file with _**CLASSIFIED**_ stamped over the front in an angry red ink. _This is almost too easy,_ he found himself grinning, ignoring his most recent memories, as he flipped through the papers inside, determining that it was, in fact, the file he had been searching for.

Sliding the file beneath the fabric of his jacket, Izaya took another breath and made his way back down the hallway. He paused outside the bathroom, ducking his head in for a second to study his reflection in the mirror. His dark hair hung limp over his face, which was white as a sheet in contrast. His usually-bright red eyes were dull and swirling with mixed emotions. Beneath his emotion-filled eyes were dark circles of worry and fear. Izaya let out a shaky breath, running an equally shaky hand over his head to fix the disheveled hair, pulling the strands to cover his pale face.

_I have to go, I have to get home, then everything will be fine, everything will be fine, it’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok._ Crossing his arms tightly over his stomach, where the files were pressed under his jacket, Izaya forced his trembling legs to carry him to the front door. He opened it, nervously glancing up and down the hallway before making his way to the elevator. _It’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok._

The elevator was too slow. Izaya wanted to pace to and from each of its claustrophobic walls, but his legs wouldn’t move. The elevator shuddered once, filling Izaya with an irrational terror. The underlying fear still lay in his veins, ready to fire up at any slight provocation. _I should’ve taken the stairs, what if someone else gets on the elevator, I can’t deal with another person this close right now, what if the elevator breaks down, what if I can’t get out with the documents, what if…_

Izaya took a deep breath, proud of the way it inhaled smoothly into his lungs instead of shuddering like it had before. He started when he felt the elevator stop with an alarmingly loud ding, the doors sliding open smoothly. Izaya could see the receptionist sitting, bored, behind the desk. Beyond that…the door beckoned. With a small breath of relief, Izaya made his way towards the escape, but…

“Good morning, Orihara Izaya.”

A deep, rumbling voice came from behind Izaya. He jumped and turned, feeling his aching neck crack at the sudden snap of motion. Standing beside the elevator, on the side that Izaya hadn’t looked in his anxiety to rush towards the exit, was a tall blond boy leaning against the wall. His brown eyes gleamed with some indecipherable emotion, and the smile that curled at his lips was cold and cruel. Izaya found all his muscles frozen and stood stock-still in front of the monster, his heart racing and his mind whirling. 

Shizuo laughed. “Well, more like good afternoon. It certainly took you a while to wake up, didn’t it.”

Izaya struggled to breathe, his throat tightening around every inhale as a sharp sting threatened tears once more. He fought them back with all his strength, and it took all the bravery in the world for him to force his gaze to meet those demonic brown eyes.

“I know what you were looking for,” Shizuo grinned. “I trust you found it easily. I did leave it in a pretty convenient place. I wasn’t sure if you would even look for it after what happened last night.”

Wordlessly, his movements jerky, Izaya unclenched his arms from where they were wrapped protectively around his stomach, drawing out the file. Shizuo chuckled again.

“Well, I guess you did find it. And you had the courage to take it, despite everything.” There was an unmistakable threat under his words.

Fear pumping through his veins, Izaya could hardly breathe. Not wanting to get any closer to the monster, terrified of what might happen if he left with the file, the raven merely loosened the muscles of his fingers, letting the beige file fall to the floor between them.

He then turned and left, hunching his shoulders against the laugh that followed him and not even bothering to hide the quickness of his step. He rushed out the door, finally— _finally_ —making his way into the open air, taking a relieved breath as he finally escaped the prison of that horrible apartment building. He ran the whole way home, tears blurring his vision.

  


* * *

  


When Izaya finally got back to his own apartment—which was thankfully empty, as his parents were out of town and his sisters were in school—he slammed the door behind him then slid down the side of the smooth wood and leaned against it. “I will _not_ cry,” he murmured to himself, even as the tears were overflowing from his eyes, sliding down his cheeks. “I will _not_ cry,” he whispered again, but his voice was already lost in the sobs.

This time, in the privacy of his own empty home, he didn’t just sob. He _wailed_. Every exhale was a sound of intense pain that shocked him to the core, and every inhale was a desperate grab for air before the next painful sound was torn from his lungs. He sat on the floor, losing track of the time he spent drowning in his own tears. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d cried this hard—he didn’t think he’d ever cried this hard in his whole life. 

_And it’s all that monster’s fault._

The memory of Shizuo’s gleaming brown eyes, alight with excitement and rage and pleasure flashed through Izaya’s mind. The raven put an arm over his mouth to muffle the sounds that escaped him, but it was useless and the arm eventually dropped to the floor as his cries grew in volume and desperation. _That kid was insane. He was a complete psycho!_

It seemed like years passed with him just sitting there, sobbing and wailing. Eventually his tears ran out, and his body was wracked with only dry sobs. “St-Stop it,” he stuttered between the sobs, “S-Stop crying.” He wiped an arm roughly across his face, trying to wipe away the tears. “Stop _crying!_ ” he suddenly screamed, the explosion of emotion terrifying him. With an enormous effort, Izaya shoved himself to his feet and forced his legs to move him to his bathroom.

“It’s ok,” he found himself murmuring again, “It’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok.” _Just like I planned earlier…I get home, take a shower, then pretend nothing happened. And nothing happened._ Finally reaching his bathroom, he turned on the water and tore off his dirty clothes, vowing to burn them immediately after. Stepping into the shower, he let the burning hot water slide across his skin, washing away the essence of Shizuo. 

Suddenly a memory was flashing in his mind, a memory of that burning hot tea sliding down his throat, and it was too similar to the feeling of the shower water now. Before he knew what he was even doing, Izaya heard a strangled cry of fear and pain that could only be his because he was the only one there, and the next thing he knew, he was on the ground and pain was pounding where his elbow and hip had hit the tile and the steam was coating his skin uncomfortably and he had to get out, get out, because he didn’t know what would happen to him if he didn’t.

Izaya crawled into the hallway, the hot water dripping onto the ground and his body trembling uncontrollably, small whines of pain slipping past his lips with every exhale. _“Louder, Izaya,”_ he heard from the depths of his memory, a vivid image of the monster’s face rising in his mind’s eye. 

Suddenly feeling the urge to vomit, Izaya ducked back into the steamy bathroom to hang his head over the toilet. The acidic bile rose in his throat, cutting off his breath as it burned his throat and mouth. There was a pause in which he sucked in a single breath, and then his shoulders were wracked with another desperate heave to empty his stomach’s contents. His entire body was trembling, the tears running down his cheeks as his shaking hands clutched at the sides of the toilet with a white-knuckled grip.

After an eternity of choking on the acidic vomit, Izaya’s body finally took pity on him and allowed him a breath of air, then two, until he was sure the vomiting had ended. Falling back from the toilet with a resigned sigh of exhaustion, Izaya leaned his head back against the wall and let the heavy steam filter over his body.

“I give up,” he sobbed quietly, not even remembering when he’d started to cry again. “I give up. Stop putting me through this. I never asked for this. I give up.” A few moments passed with only the sound of the water from the shower beating against the floor, when Izaya’s own words finally sank in.

“What am I saying?” he shook his head, feeling a strange smile ghost across his face. “What the _fuck_ am I saying? I work for a fucking underground detective agency—of _course_ I asked for this shit.”

“What the fuck was I thinking?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> less sorry than ever

Izaya tugged his black jacket over his blood-red shirt, glancing in the mirror and deciding he still liked this uniform so much better than the light blue one he’d been given. He stared at his reflection for a moment, watching the red of his shirt reflect in his eyes and practicing his maniacal grin. He’d quit his old job, the one at the underground detective agency, after the incident with Shizuo. 

Now, he worked for himself—he was creating a name for himself as an information broker. He was his own boss now. No one could tell him what to do. No one could control him. No one could ever control him again.

There was really no need for Izaya to even attend high school. He had taught himself everything he needed to know in life, anyway, and he didn’t particularly like the authority that the teachers tended to think they had over him. And yet…

Being an information broker meant knowing things. And of course Orihara Izaya knew _everything_. He’d already checked the names of the students in the high school he was going to—it would’ve been strange if he _hadn’t_.

And there was one name on the list he’d recognized immediately on sight. One name that made his stomach clench. One name that reminded him of those rage-filled eyes. One name that made him reach for a knife, and feel the need to arm himself. One name that made him turn the knife to himself, to slice at the bruises he _swore_ were still encircling his wrists.

Because how could Izaya possibly forget a name like Heiwajima Shizuo?

Izaya picked up a shiny blade from where it lay on his bed, begging for the raven’s touch. He slid a finger along the edge, as if testing the sharpness, even though he knew it was razor-sharp as always. He grinned into the metal, watching how it warped his pale face and shining red eyes. He felt the name experimentally on his lips. “Heiwajima Shizuo,” he snarled, “Heiwajima Shizuo, Heiwajima Shizuo, Heiwajima Shizuo.” Suddenly he laughed—it wasn’t really a laugh, more of a harsh barking exhale, but a ‘laugh’ would be the only word to describe it. 

“Heiwajima Shizuo, I’m going to make your life a living hell.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is shit  
> it doesn't even deserve to be called a chapter  
> but whatever  
> review if you want, kudos to you for reading the whole thing ^_^
> 
> UPDATE: I might add to this, so lemme know if you want a continuation


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know what you're thinking. "Ehhhh???!!!/!?!?!?11!! Author, you're actually going to continue this??!?!?!!!!?! Whyyyy?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!?????!"
> 
> Truth is, I have no answer for that.
> 
> Also I ran out of chapter title ideas, so I'm just gonna call them by their numbers 'cause I'm a boring person like that.

Izaya sat silently next to Shinra, watching Shizuo pant in the emptiness of the school’s field. Limp, inert bodies lay around him, twisted at awkward angles—Izaya couldn’t imagine any of them moving again. The blond straightened, and the sun flashed across the maniacal grin that twisted those devilish lips. Izaya ran his finger over the smooth of the blade in his pocket, reminding himself again and again that he was armed now, he was better trained now, he could protect himself as well as deal some of his own damage now.

_“I’m Orihara Izaya. Nice to meet you!”_

_“…Heiwajima Shizuo.”_

_“What a name! I think I’m going to call you Shizu-chan.”_

Izaya remembered the immediate growl of displeasure that had echoed from the blond’s throat when that nickname had left his own. Now, watching Shizuo standing alone in the field, drowning in the pleasure of his own strength, Izaya felt his own slightly-maniacal smile pull at the corners of his mouth. 

“Does this make you happy, Izaya?” Izaya glanced over, having almost forgotten that Shinra had been next to him. The brunet was grinning back at him, brown eyes wide and innocent.

Izaya allowed the pressure around his mouth to fade, collapsing his almost-smile. “Yes,” he answered slowly, deliberately, keeping his voice as neutral as his face. “I suppose it does.”

Shinra kept that innocent grin on his own face. “Why don’t you say hello, then?” Shinra didn’t exactly know the whole story—of course, what kind of information broker gave out information for free? The brunet was aware, however, that Izaya had some ‘unpleasant history’ with Shizuo, and would he throw the raven a curiously strange glance every time the ‘strongest man of Ikebukuro’ was mentioned. “I’m sure he’d be glad to have a chat, ne?”

Izaya stared blankly at Shinra for a moment, before dropping his chin and letting out a huff of air that couldn’t have been described as a laugh any more than it could a forceful exhale. “Yeah,” he said, his voice soft. “I should say hello, shouldn’t I. After all, it’s only common manners.”

_“I’m Orihara Izaya. Nice to meet you!”_

He tightened his hand on the grip of his blade, locking his knees and moving himself forward, towards the monster. A tingling reminder of pain ran through his hips, encircling his wrists. He grit his teeth against it, pushing away memories. The blond was facing away from him, catching his breath still after the rush of the fight. Izaya licked his lips as he approached, working his throat slightly to ensure that his words would come out clear and smooth. 

_Too close. Stop now._ Izaya stopped suddenly—close enough to the monster, but not so close that a single step and a swing of the fist could possibly connect with his own body. 

_“I think I’m going to call you Shizu-chan.”_

“Oi,” he called out, loud enough to get Shizuo’s attention but soft enough that it exerted confidence he wasn’t quite sure he even had. “Oi, Shizu-chan.” The blond turned his head, slowly. Izaya could feel his heart beating faster, the blood pounding through his head. He gripped the blade in his pocket until he could feel the edge of the hilt digging into his own skin.

The moment the blond locked eyes with him, the grin across his face only widened. “You!” Shizuo called out, a terrifying rage heightening the single syllable. Already the movement was clear, and as the monster lunged forward, Izaya was already prepared. Forcing his almost-numb limbs to respond, he whipped his hand out of his pocket, the glint of the metallic blade catching the sun. Stepping slightly to the side to avoid the fist that was swinging at him with too much power, Izaya unthinkingly swung his own hand up, swiping the blade through the air, and then something that met more resistance than air.

As he completed the motion, an arc of crimson seemed to hang in the sky, the sun glimmering off its redness. The blood caught on the blade, shining. The monster had stopped moving, was now standing with a hand over his chest—over his torn shirt and the trickle of blood from the slashed line that wept across his skin.

A sudden burst of confidence tingled through Izaya’s veins, and he felt a grin of pleasure pull at his lips as he held up the blood-slicked blade like a trophy, pointing it at the frozen monster. He couldn’t decipher the expression on the blond’s face—was it pain? Anger? Confusion?

Shizuo smiled. “Hello, Izaya- _kun_ ,” he spat out the honorific. “What a nice greeting—and it’s been so long since we’ve seen each other. You’re not going to give me a kiss?”

Rage boiled beneath the surface of Izaya’s skin, but he kept his face composed. “I wouldn’t want to touch your dirty lips, Shizu- _chan_ ,” he answered, the iciness of his own voice masking the anger. “Who knows where they’ve been—for a stupid dog like you, most likely eating out of the neighbor’s garbage, perhaps?”

“Oh?” Shizuo let out an unnerving chuckle. “Are you calling yourself _garbage_ , Izaya? Even I didn’t go so low as to call you names—it was just _I-za-ya_.” He hissed out the name, drawing out the syllables like frozen blades spat out with the intention of sinking into the raven’s heart—the pain from the poisoned tips hurting even more so than the words that the monster had uttered before the three half-whispered syllables. For a moment Izaya couldn’t breathe—then a stuttering exhale whooshed out of his lungs in what could almost be pulled off as a laugh, if he said the right thing next.

Unfortunately, he did not say the right thing next. Instead, he felt the familiar pressure around his mouth indicating that another smile had slipped past his defenses, fixating itself on his face. He held the blade up, the blood sparkling in the sun in his peripheral vision. The next exhale came out just as uneven as the last—only this time it couldn’t be described as anything _other_ than a laugh. The muscles of his arm took over, and his mind blanked out for a moment.

“You _bastard!_ ” The words, filled with so much rage and terrific power, shocked Izaya back into reality. The comforting weight of the knife was no longer in his hand, and his eyes immediately focused on a splotch of crimson in front of him—spreading across the shoulder of Shizuo’s white shirt. It took him a moment to realize that he’d caused that escape of blood, that that was his knife’s hilt sticking out of the monster’s skin, that he was now empty-handed before the now _incredibly_ angry Heiwajima Shizuo. The blond was panting with rage, his brown eyes glowing with fire, his fists clenched into condensed outlines of fury.

Izaya drew in a breath, inwardly cursing himself for losing himself and his composure for that half-second it took to move the situation from bad to worse. Shizuo slowly reached his right arm across his chest to grip the hilt of the blade in his shoulder. Izaya watched with a frozen sort of horrified fascination as the blond deliberately pulled the blade from his skin. The redness spread faster down the white of his shirt, the metal of the knife slick and shining with blood. Izaya fixated his eyes on the sharp red blade, watching the way the color slid down the side to form little drops at the tip, which then fell to the ground where the hungry earth sucked it up, swallowing the thick metallic liquid without complaint.

“I-za-ya- _kun_ ,” Shizuo growled dangerously, an angry smile still slashed across his face. Finally he let the maniacally twisted lips drop into a more believable expression, one that matched with the glow in his eyes to show his animalistic rage for what it truly was. Izaya found himself unable to back away, unable to separate himself from this terrifyingly fascinating display of pure ferocious violence.

Suddenly he jumped at the feel of a hand on his arm. Though unwilling to take his eyes off the blond, who was boiling in his own frenzy, Izaya slid his gaze to the side to pick up Shinra’s brown hair. “Now, now,” Shinra said lightly, tugging at Izaya’s sleeve. “I don’t believe we’ve met—you’re Heiwajima Shizuo, correct?” He directed his question innocently, fearlessly, as if he wasn’t talking to the most feared man in Ikebukuro.

Shizuo’s lips twitched, as if they weren’t sure whether to frown or smile. “Who are you?” he asked gruffly, as if not even expecting an answer.

Shinra—being Shinra, of course—did answer. “I’m Kishitani Shinra—you can call me Shinra.” His tone was conversational, as if he either didn’t understand or didn’t care about the weight of the situation he’d just interrupted. “You’re in our grade, aren’t you? You’re quite well-known.” He laughed a bit, his laugh sounding neither forced nor awkward. Izaya found himself flicking his eyes from Shinra to Shizuo, struggling to predict the blond’s reactions before he said anything.

Shizuo hesitated for a moment, but when Izaya made the mistake of meeting his gaze, the anger returned to the brown eyes. “Get,” Shizuo growled, “out of the way.” He was still glaring at Izaya as he spoke, but they all knew he was talking to Shinra. 

Shinra, for his part, let out another laugh. “Oh, Shizuo—can I call you Shizuo?—here’s the thing. Y’see, Izaya’s kind of become what I’d like to consider a friend. So, I’d really appreciate it if you _didn’t_ kill him right now, ok? At least wait until after high school, because I probably won’t need his friendship then. Get it?” Izaya felt the overwhelming urge to roll his eyes at his ‘friend’s’ weird words, but found himself unable to break his gaze with the blond.

Shizuo was the one to finally break their gaze, if only to stare at Shinra. Izaya wondered what he was thinking about— _Is he surprised because Shinra talked back to him? Is he unused to being addressed as a normal human? Is he going to go after Shinra now?_

Finally the monster spoke, drawing his words out slowly and deliberately, grating each syllable across the back of his throat before throwing it into the tense air between them. “Is that what you want, then? You want the flea alive?” A terrifying light made his brown eyes glow almost as red as the blood across his shirt. He lifted his hand in a threatening motion and Izaya fought the urge to flinch as the blood-soaked blade was tossed onto the ground before the raven’s feet. “Fine, then. I don’t have to kill him to send him to hell.” Izaya felt a shiver run up his spine.

Shizuo slipped his tongue out to lick at his lip—a motion so quick that no one but the ever-so-observant Orihara Izaya would catch. The monster twisted his lips into that horrifying grin once more. “I can just bring hell to you, Izaya.”

Another tingle ran up Izaya’s spine, but he found it wasn’t _fear_ —it wasn’t fear at all. It was excitement, it was apprehension, it was anxiety, it was a thrilling burst of adrenaline that made the blood in his veins boil. He let his own smile pull at his mouth. “Well, Shizu-chan,” Izaya spoke, his voice calm and his response smooth, “No one’s telling me not to kill you.”

Shizuo let out a laugh, each explosion of breath impossibly loud from his monstrous lungs. “As if a flea like you could kill me.”

“Because you’re a monster?”

The blond’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t call me that,” he rumbled, deep in his chest. “Unless you _want_ to die before graduation.”

Izaya bent down to pick up the knife that Shizuo had tossed at his feet, lifting it and inspecting the way the shiny blood clung to the green of the grass blades beneath. He straightened, lifting the red-coated blade like a prize. “But you _are_ a monster, Shizu-chan,” he murmured softly, tilting the blade to catch on the light of the sun. He tore his eyes from the crimson to meet Shizuo’s angry gaze.

“We’ll just have to see who kills who first, then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *lifts hands off keyboard* "What the fuck am I writing?"  
> *stares at wall* "Why the fuck am I writing this?"  
> *looks back at laptop screen* "Where the fuck am I going to go with this?"  
> *contemplates life choices*


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this chapter took an eternity to write. I'm so sorry.

Izaya bit his lip thoughtfully, grinding his teeth over the soft skin as he ran his eyes across the computer screen before him. The chatroom’s design was something he was proud of—a sleek black background, and different colored message boxes for each member. First messages were already popping up—then second messages, then thirds. 

He found himself absentmindedly touching his own neck with his cold fingers, rubbing at the delicate skin there. Sometimes he could still feel someone else’s hand there, someone that wasn’t him, gripping at his throat, cutting off his breath. With a quick motion, Izaya wrapped his fingers around his neck, tightening until he could just barely draw in small breaths of air through the half-closed windpipe. _It’s me,_ he reminded himself, twisting his fingertips into his skin almost painfully. _It’s not him doing this, it’s me._

His eyes focused on the computer screen again, where his ‘name’ was continuously being typed out among the messages. _Kanra, Kanra, Kanra,_ one color chanted incessantly. With a slight frown, Izaya paged up to where the member had first called for him. 

Suddenly something outside the window caught his attention. He jerked his head to the side just in time to see— _is that a vending machine?!_ —flying up past the rooftop of the buildings on the opposite street. With a breath of excitement, Izaya leapt to his feet, making his way to the window as the hunk of warped metal made its way back to the ground with a _**CRASH**_ that Izaya could hear even from his apartment.

It was hidden from view now, behind the buildings, but Izaya could see a few people running out from behind, stumbling over themselves in terror as they ran. _It’s him,_ Izaya grinned, hearing a breathy laugh falling past his lips, though not remembering when he’d made the decision to let it out. “But that’s ok,” he half-whispered, his breath fogging the glass of his window, “I have the power now…to cut you down. I’ll lop your head off—a death fitting for the miserable monster you are!”

With another breathy giggle, Izaya pushed himself from the window, letting his body weight drop to the side at a dangerous speed. He caught himself at the last moment, easing his body back to his center of gravity; plopping himself down in his chair, he used the momentum to spin a few times before focusing his attention on his computer again. Ignoring all the messages that had appeared while he was distracted, Izaya typed a quick half-hearted goodbye and logged off, spending a moment or two staring at his computer’s home screen. 

“I can do it,” he whispered threateningly, feeling the blood of excitement rushing through his veins. “I can cut you down, Shizuo. I _will_ cut you down.” In a sudden flurry of movement, he pushed himself from the chair, letting himself fall until his fingertips caught on the sill of the window again, where he pulled his face to the glass. The chaos had cleared in the streets below, and the people of Ikebukuro were going about their usual lives. “What strange people,” Izaya mused, tapping his toe absentmindedly against the wall. “Humanity really is…strange. Don’t you think?”

He turned around, looking around the apartment. There was no one there but himself. He grinned. _I knew that._ “I was talking to Shizuo,” he explained, even though there was no one to explain it to. He turned back to the window, his gaze running over the building that had hidden the monster from view a few moments ago. “You’re not a human, are you, Shizuo,” he murmured. “You’re so low, you’re off the scale.” He tapped a fingernail against the glass. _Tick. Tick. Tick._

Izaya’s half-focused gaze down on the outside world suddenly sharpened on a single object—a flash of blond hair in his peripheral vision. He snapped his eyes towards it, his heart suddenly in his throat. Along the sidewalk below, a tall blond man was walking, a petit raven-haired girl on his arm. No one that Izaya recognized. He let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding, and loosened the fists he hadn’t known he’d been clenching. 

“What is it with you, Shizuo?” he asked no one, knocking his forehead against the window lightly. “Why did you feel the need to make me feel this way?” _Because he’s a monster._ “Why did you have so much fun, ruining my life?” _Because he’s a monster._ “Why am I so afraid of you?” _Because he’s a monster._ “Why can’t you just die already?” _Because he’s a monster._

Izaya took a breath, trying to push back the memories. The memory of Shizuo’s maniacal grin. The memory of the terrifying light in those brown eyes. The memory of that monster-like strength that had bruised Izaya’s skin for weeks afterward. The memory of the horrible yet amazing feelings that had been coursing through Izaya’s body. The memory of the way Izaya’s body had kept begging for more, even as his voice was pleading for an end.

There was a sudden pain in Izaya’s arm, a sudden sharpness digging into his skin. He glanced down, realizing that his hand had moved on its own accord to pull the switchblade that he’d used against Shizuo from his pocket and push it against the fabric of the sleeve that covered his forearm. With a sharp inhale, Izaya tossed the blade away, not wanting the blood of his enemy anywhere near his own skin.

In a sudden fit of almost-panic, Izaya yanked the sleeve up his arm—even though it was obviously not cut through—and inspected the pale skin. There was no new cut, no fresh, dark blood welling up on his skin. He let out a faint sigh, pulling the sleeve down and directing a shaky glare to the still-blood-coated blade that now sat morosely on the ground, like a mongrel who’d just been kicked from the house.

“Fuck you,” he muttered angrily, rubbing his arm nervously. He stilled his hand, dropping it from his arm, controlling his trembling. “Fuck,” he breathed again, the word short enough to not betray the shakiness of the full breath.

Izaya leaned against the wall, his fingers returning to the windowsill to keep his body from falling as his knees half-buckled. He glared out the window, the fiery nerves under his skin causing anger to pulse through his veins. “I _will_ kill you, Shizuo,” Izaya hissed, the words now coming out clearly and without hesitation. “I’ll make you pay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been super busy with school lately, so I'm not sure when I'll have time to write the next chapter. It took me forever to write this one, and it's incredibly short xD
> 
> Sorry! Review anyway, I love reading your thoughts on the story!


End file.
